Always a Mystery

So I've had a few things on my mind lately; the first being women at Tech, or those women somehow associated with tech. I'm sure most tech guys can empathize with this, so here's my question:

What makes women at tech think that, even though guys out number them 7:3, they have the right to fuck with guys' heads? I don't care if you have all the guys in the world to fuck (figuratively or literally, you decide) around with, how does that make it right? I beset by my own ability to carry grudges. I've talked to several people about this - in varying levels of detail - but I've come to the conclusion, that no matter how small an offense, it still adds up over time. If you plug the drain in the bathtub and leave the water dripping slowing, it'll still overflow; the only difference being that it takes longer. I've come to find that I'm like this as well. Very rarely do I actually talk out or try to resolve the issues that bother me. I'm also very good at hiding things (mostly small things) that annoy or frustrate me. I'll only show it if it's extremely minor or I really just don't give a fuck.

Women have a tendency to bring out my wrath/resentment. They're really not on my good side at the moment. I think about the things people have done in the past at a frightening frequency. These thoughts seem to be triggered by the most random things - even benevolent acts. For example, a guy sitting outside 8th st. opened the door for me today when I had my hands full. For some reason the guy got me thinking about some stuff freshmen year, I then went to my room where my anger starting increasing, and now here I am .... typing out my thoughts in a blog.

That's something else that gets me worrying: Do I have an anger issue? Most people who interact with me see the happy-go-lucky/goofy side of me. Usually that's what I put forth in public. Sometimes I get mad, but it's most often for very short durations, and it subsides rather quickly. However, the small things are the things that matter. I can shrug off a minor offense in the present, but it usually comes back at a later date. So I ask anyone who reads this and knows me:

Do you think I have an anger issue? Or do you think these feelings are relatively normal?

According to my EAB class, you'd probably have to know about my "history" - the events of my life. Lets see ... I can think of crap tons of things that have occurred in my life that could be contributing to a rather unhealthy level of anger and a tendency to accrue a mass of small sleights, only to later come out as some wrathful storm (which, btw, hasn't happened for a long, long time).

As you might guess, the whole catalyst for this post is my anger over the way tech guys are treated as a whole by tech women. Tech women - talked about as a population and not as individuals, because there are always exceptions - tend to play around with tech guys' heads, and it's not right. That, more than anything else at tech, pissed me off to no end. I've had it happen to me, and I'm downright tired of it. I wish, just for one year, the women could out number tech guys 7:3 and then they'd have a feel for what it's like. I bet you guys could be more hurtful, but at this point I almost feel like the women here deserve it (I told you I'm vindictive). What the fuck makes them think they can get away with that kind of behavior?

All I can say is that I hope karma comes back and rams itself up their collective ass.

Currently listening to: Losing Hope, Jack Johnson

Common Courtesy

Around 2:15am this past morning, I was walking back to my apartment rather pissed off. I won't state the reason or even the person(s) behind the reason; it's a moot point. What got me thinking was I realized to be, not a single event, but a culmination of events over the past month or so. This morning (when I woke up), I was laying in bed and realized that it was really a culmination of events over the past several years that had me ticked.

Imagine for a moment that you're walking into a building. There's a person behind you who's entering the same facility. Being the courteous person you are, you hold the door open for this person. As a sign of appreciation for this courteous behavior, the individual for whom you hold the door might be expected to utter two very simple words: "Thank you." This person, however, walks right past you, listening to their iPod, not even looking in your direction. One might define courtesy as "...a gesture of good will without the expectation of something in return from the individual that such courtesy was directly towards." Given this definition, one might argue that the individal holding the door shouldn't expect a "thank you," nor do his actions require a response from the individual for whom he holds the door. I would argue that, while this coureous action doesn't neccessarily require a courteous response, the person saying "thank you" would be expressing an act of courtesy. As the person holding the door does not expect a response, they would be pleased (theoretically) with an unexpected response. Meanwhile, this expression of "thank you" does not require a response in return; hence it being a courteous action in and of itself.

Now why, do you ask, did I just write a huge paragraph on a situation that we all experience on probably a daily basis? Because the realization that I have come to is that, I have seen a degradation of courtesy in the past few years. Not that I have seen less courteous actions, just that I have come to the realization that people are not very courteous. This has spawned from mostly situations I observe, and as such, situations with which I am involved. I cannot count how many times that I have held a door open for someone and not even received a glance in my direction, as if I am some chump who's EXPECTED to hold the door open for someone. No no no; you misunderstand. There is nothing saying I have to hold the door open for someone. There is nothing saying that ANYONE should be courteous and respectful when others only shit on them when they try to be courteous and respectful.

Repect. What does that even mean? One of several definitions that Dictionary.com gives is, "esteem for or a sense of the worth or excellence of a person, a personal quality or ability, or something considered as a manifestation of a personal quality or ability." So I consider respect and courtesy to go hand in hand. An act of courtesy is often times an act of respect as well. Using the same source, here's another definition of courtesy:

"1. excellence of manners or social conduct; polite behavior.
2. a courteous, respectful, or considerate act or expression."

So as you see, respect is even IN the definition of courtesy. Courtesy, it seems, is not neccessarily a polite action from which one does not expect a response. In line with "excellence of manners," "thank you" would be a courteous response to someone holding the door open for you.

It's this degradation that has me so pissed off. I will list several things that I would consider commone courtesies, all of which things that I have expected from people with whom I socialize with. Lets just say I've been rather disappointed with what I've seen. Here's a few examples:

1) Holding the door open for something, assuming they're not 100m behind you.
2) Saying "thank you" when someone holds the door for you.
3) Following through with committments you make.
4) In line with the last one; informing people in a TIMELY MANNER if you have to break a committment.
5) Waving to a driver when they stop to let you cross the street.
6) Waving to someone on the highway when they let you over into another lane.
7) Not talking in the movie theatre.
8) Saying "thank you" when people do random nice things for you, and honestly appreciating these things.
9) Asking permission to use other people's crap; including utilizing someone's room for something other than walking in to retrieve an item from that room (e.g. sleeping).
10) Similar to #4, returning peoples' phone calls in a TIMELY MANNER.
11) Not bitching with people when they ask you to help them out
12) Actually helping people when they ask you to (assuming you have the time and capabilities to do so)
13) Something I think deserving of it's own spot on the list: Not eating any food that's NOT YOURS.
14) Cleaning up after yourself, ESPECIALLY if you're living with other people and your mess directly affects the people you live with.

These are just a few things I have noticed that people really don't do too much. Some people actually do these things, and whoever you are, I commend you. You have earned some respect in my eyes for treating people like decent human beings. It just pisses me off when people do things that I find disrespectful. It shows me a lack of caring and consideration on their part. How can someone who consistently does these kind of things to me call me their friend or even act cordially around me. Honestly, if you hate me that much then say so. Get it off your fucking chest. I'm sick and tired, not only of people being disrepectful to me, but of people being disrespectful to each other. I generally consider myself to have a rather high tolerance for these kinds of things. I usually let them slide, but a time eventually comes when you have to say "enough is enough." You can't always let people walk all over you. Even if it means ruining a relationship, you have to stand up for yourself. Letting people treat you like shit only says that you don't even respect yourself. You have to respect yourself. It's one thing if people are disrespectful to EVERYONE. It's a completely different situation if people are disrespectful to a select few people. That says to me that they're not complete assholes, they just think these few people not worthy of being treated like a person; not worthy of their caring or consideration.

It's intersting ... I was trying to find a definition of "common courtesy," and I found an article of someone writing about pretty much the same thing I'm writing about right now, only about his observation of courtesy degrading in American society as a whole. Here's the link if anyone feels like reading it. I'll end on my favorite quote from this article, "I have been terming common courtesy as the single word courtesy due the fact that courtesy is very much uncommon and holds no right being called common in the least."

Currently listening to: Wild Night, Van Morrison

The Last One for 7 Months

So I never post in this thing. As it says in the title, this is "take two" of my blogging career; albeit one that seems to have failed considering my amazingly high post count of 3. However, when one is sitting a computer lab in the basement of the psychology building watching people answer questions about abortion for 3 hours straight, one does tend to get rather bored ... so here I am ... posting.

Back to my original statement - I suppose I never post because I never have much to say. I could attempt at a witty analysis of the latest movie I've seen (which is School For Scoundrals btw), or just come up with some random topic that I'd like to talk about. Unforunately, my life is not funny nor interesting enough to discuss at any length on one of these things, and I never feel like taking the time to write about stuff no one - at least no one I know, including myself - cares about.

Secondly, after talking with Matt last weekend, I came to the conclusion that I am terrible at detailed analyses of things, such as ... say ... a movie critique. If someone asks, "oh how was School For Scoundrals?" my typical response might be "oh it was good ... it was pretty funny," but that's about as detailed as it gets. You might think that I could give an example, but unfortunately my detailed memory of funny events in movies lasts for maybe 2 or 3 days, after which I simple remember a few quotes here and there and that the movie overall was humerous.

I suppose a movie such as Pirates of the Carribbean 2 might stand out a bit more given the 3 way sword fight on a run-away water mill or the enormous greek mythological creature (aka the Kraken) popping out of the ocean only to devour entire ships - boy is that an easy button if I've ever seen one. "Captain they're getting away from us!" "No worries lads, we'll just turn this big wheel which lifts a large wooden totem, then drop it into the water creating a shockwave that instantly teleports the Kraken from two oceans away!" Can I have a pen that instantly transfers all the knowledge of my professors to my mind whenever I hold it in my hand? Not even to mention the cliffhanger at the end. Am I to really expect that Jack Sparrow will be able to escape that enormous gnashing maw lined with teeth the size of my leg? At least in Star Wars Boba Fett had on the best armor in the galaxy (at that point) when he got eaten by the sarlacc, which, btw, was completely digested when he escaped that thing. How Jack Sparrow will accomplish the almost identical feat, only without armor, is lost on me.

At any rate, the movie has to be memorable for me to be able to effectively critique it. School For Scoundrals, while funny and entertaining, did not really stand out as anything amazing or unique. The main character in it was the same guy from Napoleon Dynamite, which stands out as a pretty unique movie in my eyes. School For Scoundrals ... not so much.

Hopefully this subject (yes I like calling them "subjects" rather than "participants," because while under my supervision, they are victims to my evil psychological torture) will "make like a tree" (thank you Biff) and finish this experiment so I can get the hell out of here.



And to rip off of Matt:
Currently LIstening to: the clicks of the keyboard 6 feet away from me ... and my growling stomach.

Some thoughts on Scientology

Tom Cruise supposedly said he was going to eat his baby's placenta. Interesting. Although I was just doing some backround checks on his actual statements because I couldn't believe he'd actually publicly say that, and I came up with this.

... he was joking. So sad. I was actually hoping he'd just stuff it all right in there and eat it. Dang. Oh well. I mean isn't that what these crazy scientologists do?

So a few nights ago I was chatting with some friends about the latest and greatest religion "Scientology." If you haven't read up on this, do it. Not to be intolerant of others' beliefs, but I cracked up. First off, this "religion" was created by science fiction author L. Ron Hubbard. That should say something right there. Secondly, their main "god" (if you can call him a god) is some alien by the name of Xenu (or Xemu of you're Hubbard writing while high on about every drug imainable).

Now this isn't to say that scientology is without any kind of spiritual beliefs, but the whole foundation of the religion is insane. In order to advance within the religion, you have to donate money. Yep. The more you donate the farther you get. You wanna know what they do with all that money? They buy their own personal navy, part of it being decommisioned WWII cruisers. And supposedly they drop anyone who speaks out against scientology on their ships off 20 foot high parts of the boats. That's insanity. It's honestly a shame that people get brainwashed with this crap.

To my dismay, I found out that John Travolta is a Scientologist (probably old news). I would like us to take a moment of silence to commemorate a once very cool actor, and mourn his tragic downfall ....



































Thank you.

On other news, I've taken a liking to Pastafarianism. It's freakin' hiliarious. All hail the flying spaghetti monster. Oh, and we need more pirates. The evidence is irrefutible that the downfall of pirates is causing global warming. If this makes no sense to you, then I redirect you to your local channel.

hmmm ... other stuff going on .... I think Bush is trying to start a fight with China. No wonder America isn't held in very high regard. Honestly ... a crazy woman screaming threats at the Chinese president? The national anthem of Taiwan? Bush pulling at his sleeve? Giving the Chinese president a paper bag lunch (well not really, but an informal lunch) rather than some dinner at the white house? Whenever that guy gets back to China I expect him to start launching nukes our way. Either that or get pissed off and take it out on Taiwan.

Well that's about it. I'm out for the night. Bon soir, and long live Xenu.

Random

Your Existing Situation

Works well in cooperation with others. Needs a personal life of mutual understanding and freedom from discord.

Your Stress Sources

Wants to overcome a feeling of emptiness and of separation from others. Believes that life still has far more to offer and that he may miss his share of experiences if he fails to make the best use of every opportunity. He therefore pursues his objectives with a fierce intensity and commits himself deeply and readily. Feels himself to be completely competent in any field in which he engages, and can sometimes be considered by others to be interfering or meddlesome.

Your Restrained Characteristics

Very exacting in the standards he applies to his choice of a partner and seeking a rather unrealistic perfection in his sex life.

Your Desired Objective

Wants to make a favorable impression and be regarded as a special personality. Is therefore constantly on the watch to see whether on the watch to see whether he is succeeding in this and how others are reacting to him; this makes him feel he is in control. Uses tactics cleverly in order to obtain influence and special recognition. Susceptible to the esthetic or original.

Your Actual Problem

Afraid that he may be prevented from achieving the things he wants and therefore demands that others should recognize his right to them.

Your Actual Problem #2

Strongly resists outside influence and any interference with his freedom to make his own decisions and plans. Works to establish and strengthen his own position.

http://www.colorquiz.com/

Quiz Thing

You scored as SG-1 (Stargate). You are versatile and diverse in your thinking. You have an open mind to that which seems highly unlikely and accept it with a bit of humor. Now if only aliens would stop trying to take over your body. SG-1 (Stargate) 81% Moya (Farscape) 75% Galactica (Battlestar: Galactica) 75% Babylon 5 (Babylon 5) 69% Millennium Falcon (Star Wars) 69% Serenity (Firefly) 69% FBI's X-Files Division (The X-Files) 56% Andromeda Ascendant (Andromeda) 44% Deep Space Nine (Star Trek) 44% Enterprise D (Star Trek) 44% Nebuchadnezzar (The Matrix) 38% Bebop (Cowboy Bebop) 38% Your Ultimate Sci-Fi Profile II: which sci-fi crew would you best fit in? (pics) created with QuizFarm.com

A New Time, A New Blog

So I created a different blog. This is perhaps symbolic of me "moving on" so to speak. High school has come and gone, as have all the issues I had back then. I do not want to piss and moan about all the shit that happened back then, and there's really no point in anybody reading about it. I've talked about it enough. Therefore, I have come to the conclusion that I start a new blog. This one, as can be implied by the name, is about happenings 'n stuff in college and elsewhere. I try not to piss and moan (as that's really for me to worry about); however I make no guarantees, and there may come a time where I feel like venting. I will attempt to post entertaining subject matter that will (hopefully) brighten everyone's day. There's really not much else for the moment, and as I have my first Statistics test tomorrow, I should most likely get back to studying.

À demain.