Always a Mystery

So I've had a few things on my mind lately; the first being women at Tech, or those women somehow associated with tech. I'm sure most tech guys can empathize with this, so here's my question:

What makes women at tech think that, even though guys out number them 7:3, they have the right to fuck with guys' heads? I don't care if you have all the guys in the world to fuck (figuratively or literally, you decide) around with, how does that make it right? I beset by my own ability to carry grudges. I've talked to several people about this - in varying levels of detail - but I've come to the conclusion, that no matter how small an offense, it still adds up over time. If you plug the drain in the bathtub and leave the water dripping slowing, it'll still overflow; the only difference being that it takes longer. I've come to find that I'm like this as well. Very rarely do I actually talk out or try to resolve the issues that bother me. I'm also very good at hiding things (mostly small things) that annoy or frustrate me. I'll only show it if it's extremely minor or I really just don't give a fuck.

Women have a tendency to bring out my wrath/resentment. They're really not on my good side at the moment. I think about the things people have done in the past at a frightening frequency. These thoughts seem to be triggered by the most random things - even benevolent acts. For example, a guy sitting outside 8th st. opened the door for me today when I had my hands full. For some reason the guy got me thinking about some stuff freshmen year, I then went to my room where my anger starting increasing, and now here I am .... typing out my thoughts in a blog.

That's something else that gets me worrying: Do I have an anger issue? Most people who interact with me see the happy-go-lucky/goofy side of me. Usually that's what I put forth in public. Sometimes I get mad, but it's most often for very short durations, and it subsides rather quickly. However, the small things are the things that matter. I can shrug off a minor offense in the present, but it usually comes back at a later date. So I ask anyone who reads this and knows me:

Do you think I have an anger issue? Or do you think these feelings are relatively normal?

According to my EAB class, you'd probably have to know about my "history" - the events of my life. Lets see ... I can think of crap tons of things that have occurred in my life that could be contributing to a rather unhealthy level of anger and a tendency to accrue a mass of small sleights, only to later come out as some wrathful storm (which, btw, hasn't happened for a long, long time).

As you might guess, the whole catalyst for this post is my anger over the way tech guys are treated as a whole by tech women. Tech women - talked about as a population and not as individuals, because there are always exceptions - tend to play around with tech guys' heads, and it's not right. That, more than anything else at tech, pissed me off to no end. I've had it happen to me, and I'm downright tired of it. I wish, just for one year, the women could out number tech guys 7:3 and then they'd have a feel for what it's like. I bet you guys could be more hurtful, but at this point I almost feel like the women here deserve it (I told you I'm vindictive). What the fuck makes them think they can get away with that kind of behavior?

All I can say is that I hope karma comes back and rams itself up their collective ass.

Currently listening to: Losing Hope, Jack Johnson